dreampepper

My desk is covered in papers, official and scribbled. Some both at once. The tax people in BC have revived a ghost echo of me and have begun sending me bills, again, for their existence. My name, misspelled, propagating through the system like a tenacious weed. This happened before and I had to hire a lawyer, finally, to clean up their mess. I couldn't afford it. I couldn't afford not to. The other, the fake person, the accidental ghost, "Jane" who shared all of my information, but who was not me, who was a typing error, someone's assumption, had to be declared dead or annulled, something the people who took my calls were not authorized to do. How does one provide a death certificate for a spelling mistake? Meanwhile, I was being threatened with fraud, as some parts of the government now believed that two separate people, eerily similar, were using the same Social Insurance Number. My SIN fraught with sin, but the crime wasn't mine, but theirs.

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January 2: Can People Change?

I know I have. Where there's bright intensity, there's nothing. I used to do and now I float in nothingness. It's possible for a person to turn off.

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This time, thankfully, I do not require a lawyer. It is explained to me over the phone, after my sixth or seventh or eighth hour of being on hold, (I have been following up for days at a time), being passed along, being on hold, being passed on again, traded between Health Services and the Tax Offices, that the tulpa, the echo person was, in fact, erased. However, only "Jane" existed in the system. The people who interfaced with the lawyer had erased the wrong Jhayne. "That's not my name," I said, again, to the person on the phone, "You should have a copy of my birth certificate, saying so." "We do," he said. "I can see it right here. It has been crossed out by someone, years ago, because the name didn't match. You'll have to send it again."

I left the country a couple of years after needing to hire the lawyer to murder my ghost. When I left for the States, as is correct, I called the Health Services line used to report these types of absences and detailed when my account should be closed or put on hold. These calls, too, are on record and can be seen. These calls, too, have been crossed out. According to them, because of these things, I owe a not insignificant number of thousands of dollars.

They erase over half of it after the first week of phone calls. It takes over ten hours of being on hold. After that, I stop counting. I press 3 to stay in the queue. I press 3 to stay in the queue. I press 3 to stay in the queue. I press 3 to stay in the queue. The debt is an accident. The debt is imaginary. "Jane" is both of those things as well, I say. The woman on the phone laughs a little and agrees. She finds this all amusing. I am relieved the debt is growing smaller. She tells me it is the best thing she's had to tackle all day.